One Year

It's been one year since I've graduated high school. Isn't that soooo weird? It is so crazy how much a person can change in one year's time. In all ways, too. Physically, personality-wise, the way you think about certain things, how you view people, how you view yourself, and the list just goes on. I mean, it's weird going from thinking you have no friends because you're just weird or so different to knowing you don't really have any friends because you're just choosing not to hang out with some of the people you know based on their life style. As the saying goes, "Choose your friends, don't let your friends choose you." Also, the other saying, "Birds of a feather flock together." Ok ok. Enough with the sayings. Hahaha!

Anyway, I just think it's funny how much a person can grow and change in one year. I mean, last year I was thinking the same thing...thinking about how much I had changed...and I'm sure next year I'll be thinking this yet again. I wonder when I'll ever stop thinking this year after year?

My Thoughts on Weight and Just Being Yourself

How is it that most girls who are just a bit overweight think that they are ugly? I ask this question, but I already know the answer. I used to think this way. "If only I were skinnier, I'd be beautiful." I mean, that mindset is just not healthy. It is totally not good for your self-image. I say this, and I've always known this.....but, still I thought that way. *sigh* It makes me sad and a little aggravated all at the same time...this mindset. About two years ago, the summer before my senior year at high school, I started Weight Watchers. I started gaining self-confidence with the weightloss. Started getting more comfortable with myself all-around. You know, just thawing out and being able to be myself. Moving from shy-silent-can't-look-you-in-the-eyes girl to quiet-observant-stare-you-down chick. Ha! ^_~ I used to care about what people think. And actually, to some extent I still do I guess. Though, it is not in an unhealthy way. I mean, doesn't everybody? Anyway, why bother with what other people think? You can't please everyone and if you try, you will just lose yourself...and you won't have a grasp on who you are. You will wilt, then, a little at a time.

Just be yourself.

I Have Decided to Share My Musings With Those Who Care to Read Them

Here's a poem from "The Best Young Writers and Artists in America" (published by PUSH anthology). It caught my eye. I like it.

Architecture

Butterfly bones fill the spaces

between the walls

and sometimes

when it thunders

they rattle and I don't sleep.

I used the paper

lining of their wings

to make stained glass windows

so when the sun finally rises,

his face, next to mine,

becomes a mosaic.

-Corry Wallace

Sometimes I feel as if I am made of butterfly bones. Ever felt that way? Today, though, was not a day of butterfly bone frailty for which I am thankful. Today was a day of observation, and one thing I observed today was that the group of boys at the elementary school where I work remind me of "The Lord of the Flies". Need I say more? It is a bit of a scary thought actually.

On another note, I've also noticed I've been letting my mind wander more than usual lately. I've been letting it go to "off" mode quite a bit where I just space out and think of nothing. It annoys me. So, why do I do it? I have no idea.